Richard the Ninth shopped for oranges one afternoon when suddenly he was struck with a carrot, struck in the face actually. He looked for the source of the carrot, but found he was alone in the market. A closer look revealed that he was not in the market at all, rather he had wandered into a library.
Libraries confused and angered Richard the Ninth and he wondered why he wandered there. Just as another carrot struck him in the ear he realized the library was where those jerk rabbits had been hoarding all of the town's oranges and, yes, carrots.
Richard the Ninth scanned the room, but nary a long-eared hooligan was to be found. Thinking quickly he very suddenly became very tired. He sat down for a nap when a carrot flew into the back of his head. He stood up again but could not see a single buck-toothed bastard anywhere.
Ignoring the longstanding law of silence, Richard the Ninth began making a ruckus and ran around the library shouting invective aimed squarely at the rabbits. This did nothing to help his cause but did tire him again. He fell to the ground and slept for several minutes.
When Richard the Ninth awoke he had forgotten where he was, why he was there, and even wondered who he was in the grand scheme of things. He did have the awful taste of carrots in his mouth which marred his slightly more pleasant hunger for oranges.
Richard the Ninth's memory was suddenly jogged as a rabbit hopped past. He stood and chased the rabbit through holistic medicines, agriculture, and LSAT study aids when he was stopped short by a diminutive librarian. Though meager in height, she was abundant in discipline.
The librarian removed Richard the Ninth from the premises, ignoring any and all proclamations of war against those furry feckers. She instituted a ban to begin immediately and last through until the next day. Richard the Ninth had lost the First Rabbit War. He headed for home knowing another war would follow, feeling uneasy at the way the librarian had touched him, and still craving oranges.
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