People love free things. The price is low and the dividends are high. Hugs cost a person nothing but give them the soaring sensations of comfort and belonging. Complimentary hand soap gets high marks with people because it keeps them clean and healthy. Some people say there is no such thing as a free lunch. But can you imagine if someone gave you one? How cool would that be? Sitting in a restaurant or a train station or in a stranger's kitchenette and they give you your very own lunch, absolutely free, no strings attached. The sky should rain with kittens on such a day.
What people love more than free things are more free things. A free pack of peanuts would be lonely without a second pack of peanuts or a third. Or a free soda and a tee-shirt. And a car, give me the car, too. Now how am I going to carry all of this home? I definitely need a free backpack now. From that well of the one free item there must spring eternal a cornucopia of swag.
When people get those free things, it follows that the free things must be perfect. This shirt is a large, but I wear a medium, give me a medium. There is no medium, then give me another shirt. Or how about your shirt, give me your shirt. Wait, all of the free shirts are the same. This is discrimination. Give me another shirt. Do you have small? Yeah, I saw the free peanuts, but I had part of my stomach removed. I've been having problems paying my rent, so if you have any free... rent payments back there... do you?
And so it goes. Free is the best. One is never enough. This free thing had better be absolutely perfect because I paid good money for it. Now give me a shirt, your wallet, your keys, pictures of your family, your right eyeball, a free lunch, a box of them peanuts, this table, a lock of that girl's hair, and -- hey -- how about a hug? Do you have it in a small?
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